Feh

I completely forgot to mention that I had another MD thingy almost 3 weeks ago.

It's got me complaining about everything is horrible. Who would've thought.

Ha. Hahaha. Ha? Whatever, I'm working on something... else.

Since AAA video games are hibernating for another month or two.

Calm before the storm.

How Time Flies

Hey Medium Difficulty isn't dead! And they let me put out a hit-job on some easy targets like Ben Kuchera and Randy Pitchford and PA and Kotaku. Maybe it's old hat, but sometimes you wanna just revisit the classics. But now, also, another thing.

So: one year of this nonsense...

25 Signs You're A Gamer

What does it mean to be a "gamer" in the 21st century? Our guest contributor Ryan "Bingo" Milliard, who you may remember from his review of the story-driven kart racer Redline 4 back in May, has managed to find my contact information again after several mistaken phone numbers and addresses. Here below you will find his remarkable capacity in drawing out the deeply (deeply) hidden romanticism of the "true gamer".

(Look: I publish his work because he pays me per-word. It's a rough business out here... we all gotta get by somehow. Apologies in advance to Todd Terje...)

Vision Quest

I'm not a big fan of Kill Screen. I think I've made that pretty clear here. They've done several pieces which I enjoyed quite a deal, but they mostly came early in their run, and often from non-regular contributors or interviews carried on the strength of their subjects. As a bit of a confession, my big 2012 In Review joke was, in great majority, pull-quotes from Kill Screen; I'm talking well over half with a couple of repeat appearances. And to think I once bought a T-shirt off them as a starry-eyed dreamer.

So I'm bored and spinning my wheels, so why not fling a little more mud in their eyes? Everyone loves a scrappy underdog, right? Better than adding another voice to the din surrounding that torso fiasco, anyway. Thankfully I had the Kill Screen vision statement re-tweeted into my timeline today, so I got a good chuckle from the short form. But I felt that wasn't just being snide, but unfairly cheap. So why not really take a fine toothed comb to where their mission falls apart at the seams? I can even give it a score on a 10-point decimal scale like their estranged mother, Pitchfork! So, have I wrongly misaligned our critical community's Kid A or been overly charitable to our Travistan? Let's find out... together.

The Broken Contract

Not even a year into my illustrious career and already we're digging things up from the vault. Less for the best-selling hardcover collections, but I think I'll manage.

But first, a foreword. I got into a number of decent discussions over the piece from people who bothered to read it instead of jumping onto the dog pile, which thankfully prevented this thing from being a complete wash. While I stand by the critiques of Dys4ia and Lim I make here, I wholly realize these games are important works by sheer virtue of their existence; I even had the privilege of watching their well-deserved lionization in real-time with the announcement of the IGF finalists.

But I'm not interested in all-or-nothing criticism and analysis; merit can be found in failures, and flaws can be found with success. I felt that these games were important steps into the future, but not the attainment of that future. Anna Anthropy disagrees with me; if she thought something was wrong, she would have made her game a different way. We come from wholly opposite viewpoints on the nature of games and what their strengths as a medium are, and that's where dialog happens. All writers inherently forward an agenda, and I felt like blanket approval didn't serve mine. Busting chops and being all edgy isn't my thing, and most people who make it a habit are hacks, but there still needs to be room for measured praise.

Okay that was all boring but this is my blog damn it I DID IT FOR ME. Okay here it is.

The Man Who Wasn't There

So apparently Medium Difficulty got an overhaul and now the article's gone missing for the last couple of days. Maybe because it was published the day before the rollout? Curious is all; just figured it was worth mentioning since I'm not banking on it going back up. I doubt anyone particularly wants to read it, but I have a backup drifting around somewhere, so ask me if you want to read it and worst comes to worst it gets a home here. (This is how I'll let it quietly vanish, shirking responsibility for it since nobody reads this blog.)

Maybe it was nice gesture to that guy who considers saying "no, you're wrong" and calling my article a "fart party" counts as a bon mot. Eloquence I'm sure both Anthropy and Kopas couldn't provide on their own, let alone outdo, since you felt the need to speak on their behalf. Oh well, nobody's perfect.

Hot Water Again

Polarizing!

At least I got a chance to tweet at Anna Anthropy about it real quick. She thinks my criticism is dumb and misinformed. That's what happens when you come from opposing points of view on the nature of games as a medium, I guess. And I've heard from enough people I could stand to loosen up, and not just on the vocabulary, so I can at least call this a teachable moment. Noticing nobody's complaining about another chance to kick Spec Ops while it's down, though!

Vive le difference.

The Year In The Rearview: A Gallery

A commemoration to the New Games Journalism of 2012.

A juxtaposition of select quotes with visual complements.

All images are best seen at their full size. (750 x 500 px.)

Additional submissions welcome!

Everyone Loves You, Nobody Cares

DISCLAIMER: If you're already sick to death of games writers writing about gamers writers and games writing and getting all hyper-personal about it, go ahead skip this whole mess. I don't blame you, I generally can't stand it either. But to critique it, I have to go hypocritical and actually use it. Feel free to just ignore this whole mess and comment that you did so. I won't be offended in the least.

I'll probably manage one more Real Game Thoughts thing before year's end but this sure as heck isn't it. No edits, no running it by a friend; it's raw and kind of disjointed, but whatever. I had feelings and this happened, so, you know, sorry in advance. Happy Hanukkah, free Palestine.

You Don't Want To Miss A Thing

Boop!

Similar to the last time I did something this dumb, but no Incredible Bongo Band. The constraints of scrutiny. Probably helps that the game I'm framing with exists this time. Although I guess I basically described what the world would be like if people were heavily engrossed in the F-Zero universe and not Mass Effect.

Happy Thanksgiving, eat the rich!

Rise From Your Grave

Yes! A new thing!

Yeah it borrows thematically from that old "Fun and Games" series (1) (2) (3) (4)  and also "Why Games Shouldn't Want To Be Art" a bit, but it's all fresh and new and there's a funny picture with a baby in it.

No the baby is not particularly funny and it's not doing anything. Sorry.

Okay. Well. Uh... see ya.

My First Public Apology™

If you're reading this, chances are you know what this is about, and greater still you're one of the people I owe an actual apology. Not a tweet, not with any kind of qualifications or explanations or deflections through humor and irony. I did that already, and it was done in self-preservation and cowardice. This is nothing less than a total admission of fault.

The things I said were rude and spiteful, were motivated by nothing and came from nowhere. The words and names I used were secondary to the emotion behind them, which sought only to hurt and was childish in the extreme. I lost contact with several writers for whom I have a great deal of respect and whose writing I enjoy on a regular basis. Whatever infinitesimally small grievances I may have with their work from time to time were far outstripped by my senseless vitriol in a moment of weakness and idiocy.

I am truly and earnestly sorry for my actions, and any ill effects I caused to those I slandered. I am owed no forgiveness, and can only ask for it humbly and ashamed of what I have done.

Thank you.

I Just Want Bang Bang Bang

Yada yada blah blah Medium Difficulty bleep bloop etc.

Remember those late 90's ads for the Marines where the cadet would scale a cliff face freehand then fight a malevolent Norse ghost with jujitsu before being swallowed by light and outfitted in full uniform? Yeah: military FPS games are the recruitment equivalent of that, except way less interesting.

Also Trent Reznor sucks and so did the ARG he made several albums ago. Why they all gotta be promoting something; make another ARG that exists for its own damn sake. I liked that; that was fun.

ARG ARG ARG.

Hawk a Loogie

The drill: you know it. Just some Tony Hawk HD jazz.

At least it's not the worst thing I've read on the subject.

The Hat Trick

Yep; another one over at Medium Difficulty.


You might recognize a good portion of it as a more artfully condensed version of a five-part series from a few months ago, but I figure that with a new Rock Band title just on the horizon and the future beyond that uncertain, now's a good time for it. Give it a spin! It's definitely a more brisk read.


Also this terrible thing happened, so it's not like the problems I cover have gone away or in any way improved.

P.S. Kill me.

Again?!

Yeah and also it was almost two weeks ago. My bad; that heady E3 week took a lot of Hate Juice out of me.

That would be here.

I'm probably going into hibernation until the next hilariously terrible thing happens while working on rewrites of old things that maybe this time won't take a week's worth of article-text.

Whoa! What! Wow!

There's a new article and it's not here! Because it's being run by the cool, fresh and cute people over at Medium Difficulty! What the heck, right? Yeah, I know!

Anyway the article is directly linked below, and also the terrible secret of my birth name is exposed.

[L@@K] (Warning: suggestive images of moe anime schoolgirls and fetish models and Krahulik tweets.)

Transmissions From Another World

Have you ever wondered what entries in the modern slate of AAA titles might look like if a different genre of game had been triumphant instead of first-person action-shooter-RPGs? No? Well, now you probably are.


Read along to the accompanying audio for enhanced effect. Multimedia!

TAKE IT TO THE LIMIT... ONE MORE TIME  

review by Ryan "Bingo" Milliard (@GLRyanM)

[WARNING: Heavy spoilers to ensue.]

As I pressed Start and created my save profile for the conclusion to this highly lauded tetralogy, I could only anticipate what kind of staggering finale was in store and the closure it would bring. It had been less than a year since I last donned The Captain's regalia, but that only served to keep my memories crisp. As the intro cinematic played and that familiar orchestral refrain surged to the fore, I immediately felt at home. Still, for all my expectations, the rewards that lay in store for me could never truly be predicted.

---

The save-reading wasn't as blissfully perfect as I had envisioned, but the sense of continuity was more than well-preserved. My allegiances remained intact; while years had passed since The Captain's tragic accident, familiar faces rightfully brightened or glowered in response to my bittersweet homecoming. Hushed whispers of those in my crew who had passed away wafted quietly through the garages and watering holes which too had seen their share of changes. For instance, since my Captain had chosen the more violent response to the infamous "urinal confrontation" scene of the last game, the bathroom of the Boost Pad bar had been remodeled… save for the same blood-spattered ceramic tiles in the texture. Brilliant.

Let's Get Together

Oh yeah, that's right, I have this blog. Dang, huh? Been busy working on a potential something special with some older articles; we'll see. Anyway.

Competition is one of the fundamental elements of a game; the ability to win or lose or measure performance against another. It fosters investment in a game, and as more people do so, the greater a community can become for it. In the lead-up to the release of the reboot of the SSX series, I was enthralled at the idea of seeing what would come from a modernization of some of my all-time favorite games. Many people were initially frightened at the prospect of an overly serious adaptation from the very first promotional video, but fortunately the team behind the skate. series was in charge and was able to wrest the game's release free from... some of the Boilerplate Videogame In 2012 markers. I'm looking at you, "Pre-Order Bonuses", "Day 1 DLC", and "Facebook Integration".

A grim fate narrowly avoided.

It is, all in all, a commendable game, and the core mechanics manage to shine in spite of 2012 EA's Origin-shellacked trappings. One thing that seemed to trouble a fair number of people and still feels sorely missed, however, is real-time multiplayer. Leaderboards and ghost runs and the marvels of asynchronous competition are more than welcome, and the selling point of "taking down rivals on your own time" is by all means a worthy motivator. The upcoming restructuring of the ever-present time-sensitive "Global Events" and the constant presence of holographic visages riding alongside push that sense of being in a populated and active community right to its limit. And yet, despite the running data feeds and tiered rewards structures... you're always alone.

Another Goddamn PAX East Diary (But Different)

I figure I should probably get back into the swing of writing things before I lose any sense of personal momentum. For the sake of easing back in, I figure the best thing to do is cobble together my snatches of experience from Twitter posts and/or drunken photo ops and compose them into a singular overarching idea.

I didn't have a Media pass; I was at a Holiday Inn with three good friends. I didn't go to any of the major panels or booths; no Ken Levine, no Casey Hudson, no Bioware, no Assassin's Creed, no Max Payne 3. Patience is a virtue, but there's only so much any of those spectacles are worth. I generally drew the line at 30 minutes to an hour, and had a far better four days for it. So, what did I do, see, think, experience? Who did I meet at talk to? We'll get into that. But, as someone who's now a repeat visitor to this thing, consider this an alternative guide on what to do.

Pictured: idiots who are doing it all wrong.